From a very young age, my father pushed me to pursue a labour-driven career. This was never something I wanted, nor something I could ever see myself wanting. I grew up wanting to tell stories through film, I didn’t want to become a tradie like the rest of the men in my family.
Despite this, when I turned 16 my dad pulled me out of high school and enrolled me in an apprenticeship as a diesel mechanic. He believed that pursuing a career other than a trade would “lessen me as a man.”
I lost myself as a person, because of what my dad would tell me. Was I really less of a man for not wanting to work in a trade?
I started to hate my life, being driven into a horrible state of depression by this job, which caused me to have suicidal thoughts at least 6 times a week. I became a bitter person, always wanting to be left alone, pushing away those closest to me, sinking into this depressed state. On top of this, I started to gain a lot of weight, eating my feelings away which took a huge toll on my self-confidence.
After a year of this, I had enough. I quit my job, went back to school, and asked the principal if I could continue my senior years. Thankfully I was able to continue, no questions asked.
For the next two years while I was in school I worked unbelievably hard to prove my academic worth to the people around me who thought I would amount to nothing. I worked on myself as a person. I started meditating, self-reflecting, making new friends, and going to the gym 5 days a week. I eventually became the man I am today; mentally and physically healthy, confident, with an amazing group of friends, and a wonderful partner.
With graduation coming closer, my cohort was asked what we wanted to pursue after school. I knew I wanted to be a filmmaker. I actually figured this out pretty early. I knew I always wanted to tell stories and I had always been a very visual person with a huge love for film, what better career than to become a filmmaker?
With this in mind, I invested a large portion of my savings into this dream. I bought a camera and sound equipment, enrolled in some online courses on the matter, and did everything else I needed to put myself in a position where I could achieve this goal.
I then applied for five different films schools and received four acceptance letters. Now, as I attend my third trimester at one of these schools, I couldn’t be happier with my life.
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