The first and most obvious step in your sweet swapping journey is to successfully seek out a trading partner.
The most obvious choice is siblings. There are pros and cons to this tactic. Younger siblings make ideal targets as they are naive, and often stupid, enough to make some regrettable trades, and given your forced relationship, it is far easier morally to take advantage of this.
That being said though, older siblings will likely do the same to you. The parent factor must also be added in, as when they realise they have been swindled, it is fair game to go and cry about it.
The ideal trading partner is your friend’s siblings. Unlike your friends, who you may feel bad abusing their poor trades, their siblings have no such barrier. Approach with sensitivity; a level of tact must be used that is not necessary with your siblings.
Friends and family with allergies or objectively bad tastes in sweets are also ideal for the exponential growth of your stash.
Your next step is to devise your method of trading. We here at Spineless recommend a scaled system of trading, though some may opt for the one-to-one trading system. Approach this with extreme caution! It is easy to get shortchanged when trading lollies based solely on numbers and not on their value. Although difficult, it can be done!
Take note of any friends or family who opt to divvy out your stash completely evenly, “the fair way.” These people may get really into an annoyingly surface-level understanding of communism in University. We have warned you.
A scaled trading system is ideal. You worked hard for your lollies, you deserve to have your 10 Kit-Kats recognised as being objectively more valuable than 10 Minties.
Your first step is to provide a fair offering of Turkish Delights and black liquorice for your parents. Don’t fight it. They will take them.
Hoard as many boxes of Fads and packets of Wizz Fizzes. They are a prime catch and should be saved for big trades.
Loose lollies should never be traded alone. Groups of snakes should go together, a set of every colour being a standard unit, though groups of 3 or more of just red or just purple are also fairly valuable. The same can be said for red frogs, or any other loose lollies available in the party mix, grouped in varying amounts and arrays they can be worth something.
Get rid of your eucalyptus drops as soon as possible and make a note of who wanted them; they are going to be successful. The same can be said about sour straps. That friend will end up being a whole lot of fun when you move out.
Any small wrapped lollies, your Redskins, Sherbies, Milko types are a one-to-one trade with each other. They can however be traded 3-to-one for larger, fruit flavoured lollies or snack-sized chocolate, though the latter may be a rarer trade.
Although the same lolly, Chupa Chups are not equal across the board. Strawberries and cream, cola and watermelon are worth far more than grape. It is fairly easy to trade your way up the system. Lemonade can be traded for an apple, an apple for choco vanilla, choco vanilla for strawberries and cream, and so on. The cream variety alone is worth far more than their alternatives, which isn’t even considering the Melody Pops. Never trade your Melody Pops!
Larger sized chocolates can then be traded 3-to-one for KING lollies. Chomps, nerd ropes or push pops of the bunch. This scale may alter, however, depending on which variety of chocolates you are looking to trade. For example, this may lessen if you are offering someone a group of their favourites, and may drastically increase if you are trying to trade a Caramel Kit-Kat for a warhead spray.
And remember, Caramel buds and Werthers Originals are worthless, do the right thing and give them to your grandmother.
Happy trading!
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